Today we had a baby shower for my SIL at our house. (Talk about punishing myself) I love my family so much that at times I put aside what is going on with me to make others feel good (that's what family should do). I was successful at that today.
Although I wasn't the host, when it is your house, you are basically a host as well. Every time I tried to sneak away, I would hear someone call my name because they couldn't find something, they wanted my opinion, etc.
What stung about this particular shower was that I was due 4 weeks behind my SIL, this coming January. It was a lovely reminder how quickly time has gone and how I am still TTC after all this time. Around the time when she was about to deliver her last child (3.5 yr ago), DH and I had decided to try for #2. Now she is having another and it forces me to see the amount of time that has actually past. I pray that in another 3 years I'm not floating through the same reality. I'm so blessed, but I can't deny the void in my heart due to this process.