Monday, January 05, 2009

Happy New Year!

I am happy to be in a new year! 2008 was not that great for me. I am praying and trying to have faith that this year will be one of change.

A life changing situation happened to me this past weekend. I was looking through some of my SIL's photo albums and came across some pictures of myself from my late teens/early twenties and it shocked me! The young lady in the pictures was beautiful and had a happy glow in her eyes. I am only 26. I am still that young lady, but she is hiding and out of sight right now. If I wait, she will be gone forever. I will never have this time back. When I look at pictures of myself now, I feel as if I don't recognize the person that I am now. This person looks older, tired, and unhappy with herself.

That night, I came to the conclusion that enough is enough. I am not this person. I want to be 26. I want my outer beauty back. I want my health back. I want my family to be one of those active families with a kayak and bikes strapped to our car. I want me back.

A light switch has been turned on and I will not stop until I am myself again and I will never get to this point again.

I convinced DH to wait until April to have our IVF#2. I have somethings that I need to do for myself and it just has to wait. Even when/if I'm pregnant again, I will eat correctly and do some form of exercise daily. That I am promising myself.

Yay! to a new year and the hope of what's to come.

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